Big Black Book

bad ass book of doom? not quite yet...

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Twilight : The Disappointment

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I am one of those people who beg to differ with the opinion of the masses on Twilight : New Moon. Seriously, I don't get all the hype behind the movie. The movie itself tries to be the modern interpretation of Romeo & Juliet. The storyline itself was at best cheesy enough for High School Musical watching teenagers. I had to control myself from yelling, "Oi! you sampat aa?" when the crowed in the cinema went 'ooh' and 'aahh' at a few scenes, especially the one where Wolfie (Jacob) took off his shirt to reveal his six-packed abs.. Didn't notice the same expression when the abs are on an older gentlemen for example Vin Diesel. The most probable expression would be; "Geli lah..".

The whole movie can be summarised up in the following paragraph :

Miss Suan : I want to be with you forever.
Boy Vampie : Cannot, where can? I feel guilty when I'm with you. So I cannot be with you.
*Runs away*

Miss Suan : Without him I will die.
*Sits by the window for 3 months*
*Starts having visions about him whenever her adrenaline levels rises*
*Gets addicted to those visions*
*Starts to get involved in dangerous activities*
*Got involved in dangerous activity #1 with the help of Wolfie*
*Develops a close relationship with Wolfie*

Boy Vampie : Hello? May I speak to Miss Suan?
Wolfie : Oh dia sudah mati lo... Hohoho..
Boy Vampie : WTH????
*Kemikkan talipon*
Boy Vampie : Saya pun mau mati...
*Drives a canary yellow 911 to some Vampie High Council and asks them to kill him*
*They declined*
*Went out to expose himself indecently*
*Buka bajung, nampak tek tek, jeng jeng jeng...*

*Stopped by konon-nya mati Miss Suan*
*All 3 brought to Vampie High Council under some apek Vampie's orders*
*Apek vampie test power on Miss Suan*
Apek Vampie : Fuah you hebat.. Kita suruh 1 lagi Vampie test power.
*Nothing happened*
Apek Vampie : U memang hebat, u mesti mati, mari kasi saya gigit...
Alice : Stop, I have visions of her joining us and I will be the one turning her into one.
Apek Vampie : O rly? Mari sini bagi saya tengok..
*Visions of Boy Vampie and Miss Suan running through the forest ala hindu-stan.. Kuch Kuch Hote Hai!*
Apek Vampie : Ok then, you may leave..
*All of them went back to Fork*

Miss Suan : Oh Vampie, please let me join you, please turn me into one of you..
Boy Vampie : I can't..
Miss Suan : Let your family vote then..
*Voted, majority said yes*

*Wolfie confronted Miss Suan and Boy Vampie*
Wolfie : I cannot let them turn you into one of them..
Miss Suan : It's my choice Wolfie..
*Transform!*
*Wolfie turns into a big bag Wolf and was about to pounce on Boy Vampie*
Miss Suan : Over my dead body!
*Wolfie gave one last stare and ran into the forest with his tail in between his legs* <-- Kena belot kao kao...
Boy Vampie : Marry me Miss Suan.

THE END

Seriously that's the whole story, I might miss out a few scenes but trust me, those are just fillers and are not important. N they even left some loose ends out; What really happened to the hikers that were reportedly killed by bears? How did Wolfie turn into Wolfie through Sam? Why are some vampires more powerful than the others? What about the pact between the vampires and the werewolves?

Hmmm.. Maybe I should watch the first part and look for answers to those questions there.. and maybe, just maybe the first part is a more worthy movie to watch than the second one.. and hopefully the third part can redeem the whole Twilight saga from damnation..

2 Comment(s):

tokmoh said...

Oh man, New Moon is the new Transformers 2. People only watch T2 for Megan Fox. NM is for that jambu vampire.

Vincent said...

lol! jambu? because of his hair??? haha! heard that T1 is better than T2, shall watch it soon..